WTF Are You Thinking? Japanese People & Gaijin Want to Know

Here is a new column for our blog. I am calling it, “WTF Are You Thinking?” It’s about time. I’ve been here almost 4 years this time around and the outside business (kaigai shobai) world is making less and less sense. Especially in how it tries to deal with the Japanese market and her people when trying to sell us its products. I’m not a total weeabo but I have to look at McDonald’s latest product offering with sake jaundiced eyes and ask, “WTF?”

Outside of Roppongi, Shibuya and the Gaijin Ghetto shuffle known as the “scramble” American fast food restaurants are having a tough time pitching their not-so-cheap, greasy, unhealthy fare. Sure, these shops are a lifestyle in the U.S. I get it. It’s why almost 2/3rds of Americans are clinically obese. Sure there are debu peeps in Japan. Debu is the Japanese word for “fat.” But nowhere near the number you can find outside, especially in the West.

Here is today’s Special from McDonald’s. I’m calling it, the “McNipple”. I guess you could also call it the “McWort” or something else.

McDonald's, American fast-food, ぐでたま, gudetama, 翻訳, translation, sanrio, 7happycreations, 7HCxl8, anime, manga, akihabara, Doraemon, yokai watch, 3D characters, translate

I saw this at an eki or “train station” on the JR line today. McDonald’s is doing their best to suck people in. This sign is next to the shop entry, inside the station ticket turnstiles. Meaning you can get off the train, make a pit-stop into McDonald’s, eat and get back on the train without having to get a new ticket or add to your PASMO card charges. Smart. At this point, McDonald’s needs to do anything they can to drag people into their shop. It’s not working very well. McDonald’s is in the process of selling off 85% interest in their chain and franchises here. Good luck to them.

Anyway, back to the “McNipple”(tm). The McNipple is a Japanese style fried chicken sandwich with choice of shoyu (soy sauce) or tartar sauce. The chicken, karaage sits on a bed of lettuce with resting on some mayo. Japanese mayo is pretty good maybe its the best part of the sandwich.

THE AD PITCH

McDonald's, American fast-food, ぐでたま, gudetama, 翻訳, translation, sanrio, 7happycreations, 7HCxl8, anime, manga, akihabara, Doraemon, yokai watch, 3D characters, translate

“Masterpiece
Light ginger
Soy sauce
Chicken
Tatsuta”

McDonald's, American fast-food, ぐでたま, gudetama, 翻訳, translation, sanrio, 7happycreations, 7HCxl8, anime, manga, akihabara, Doraemon, yokai watch, 3D characters, translate

“New  (product)  — personally New is enough because it’s ad but does it go okay with Masterpeice?
Rich Tartar Sauce
Chicken
Tartar”
McDonald's, American fast-food, ぐでたま, gudetama, 翻訳, translation, sanrio, 7happycreations, 7HCxl8, anime, manga, akihabara, Doraemon, yokai watch, 3D characters, translate
“Tatsuta First? Tartar First?”
Sounds like a real battle between Tatsuta and Tartar.

The mountainous bread that comes with the sandwich looks good but then…its just the poster. If I get the chance I will take a pic of Tatsuta/Tartar reality and add it to a future post. However, I’m not too keen on actually eating once cause I just left the hospital where I underwent a procedure to try and fix 30 years of damage American fast-food has done. Things are looking up though. Thank Buddha and the Emperor for Japanese cuisine. That’s all I can say.

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